yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Every concussion has its silver lining
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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