Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
