I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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