So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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