How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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