It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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