We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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