My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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