Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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