Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
