Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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