i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
