Pappa wants mamma naked
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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