I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
