I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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