What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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