You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
