Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
did i just pee glitter
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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