And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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