Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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