Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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