nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
