I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
