8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize