I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
