i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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