was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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