No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
