my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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