in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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