remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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