i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
