how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize