I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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