Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
