yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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