Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
