I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
