No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
