I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
