yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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