all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
