# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
