put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize