we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
