she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
