was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
