the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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