you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
