Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
