As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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