ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
