I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
