I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
