Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
