I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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