Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
