omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
