I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
