Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
