Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
