So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
