At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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