it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
